Herbal Health

I have learned to hate sex. It hurts, my whole pelvis hurts with every thrust. I just can’t do it anymore.

WIFE WITH ARTHRITIS

Some of the symptoms that come with the various forms and degrees of arthritis include numbness, joint pain, weakness, fatigue, and some muscular atrophy. The primary effect on sexuality seems to be in sexual movements that accompany intercourse.

Of the 118 patients with some form of connective-tissue disorder or arthritis, 26 had stopped having sex. Fatigue and pain were the most frequent reasons given. I learned in the interviews, however, that most of these patients were trying to have sex at night or in the morning. These two times are typically the most painful in the cycle of symptoms for most arthritis patients, particularly patients with rheumatoid arthritis.

I suggested the following steps for the husbands and wives with arthritis in the couples group.

1. Try a warm bath or shower before sex. The temperature of the water may lessen some of the pain in the joints and make movements easier.

2. .Change the time of day you try to have sex. Late morning and early afternoon seem to be good times for less severe symptoms for my patients, but find your own sex time. Don’t be bound by the nighttime trap.

3. Use warm compresses even during sex. Apply them just prior to posture changes, and incorporate them into the sex play.

4. Try the posture of the future. Mounting and thrusting are not sexual prerequisites.

5. If what you are doing hurts, don’t only stop and change the activity, but discuss it later. There may be ways to make adjustments. Symptoms are always changing. What does not feel good today might feel great later.

6. Emotional state can affect some forms of arthritis directly. The stress of anxiety, fatigue, and work or family pressure is as damaging as postural pressures. Look to your emotional posture as much as you look to your sexual position.

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